Throughout my life I have been to numerous weddings as either the guest or as a vocalist, and the things that make me go hmmm…never ceases to amaze me. From weddings starting late, couples having it out on the rehearsal night, to the food tasting like some three-year-old cooked it -I have seen it all.
Weddings are supposed to be a day of celebration – the day when two individuals vow to love one another until death, in front of God and their families and friends. Instead, some weddings turn into laugh fests that make you wonder if the couple put any thought into how they wanted their big day to turn out. I am not trying to be judgmental but I just think that people can do better. I do not proclaim to be some wedding-planning expert, but I have been to enough weddings to give a few tips. It goes a little something like this:
To the Bride & Groom:
1. Cost: The average cost of a wedding is $24, 066.00 (http://www.costofwedding.com). If you cannot afford a big-elaborate wedding, people will really understand. It is better to keep your wedding small or even go to the justice of the peace if a wedding is not in your budget. That would be better than having a huge wedding where you run out of food, lack décor, and is just plain tacky.
2. Location: Choose your wedding/reception location wisely. We understand that your great-granddad helped build your hometown church, but with 100 (exaggerated) people in your wedding party, it looks cramped and tacky and your guests are uncomfortable because they are stacked up on each other.
3. Dresses: Choose dresses that are flattering for every body type. Not every individual in your wedding party is a size 2. Find dresses or mix/match pieces that will allow bridesmaids to select what flatters their shape. No one wants to walk down the aisle in something that is not flattering.
4. Rehearsals: Rehearsals seem to bring out the worst in some people. Everyone wants to direct and provide the bride and groom with their ideas. Most of the wedding party is never on time for rehearsal, and the rehearsal dinners usually end with the wedding party wondering, what in the world was that.
(a) Select a time later in the evening that allows your wedding party time to make it into town if they are traveling, and allowing for others to get off work and make sure that their families are taken care of. You could also choose to just have a rehearsal a couple of hours prior to the wedding.
(b) Introduce your wedding coordinator/director to your wedding party and explain that he/she will be providing instructions as to how rehearsal will flow and key information about the wedding day.
(c) If you are providing dinner for your wedding party, DO NOT just through something together and send them on their way. Many people have come from out of town or have come straight from work to the rehearsal. Feed them…enough said.
(d) Gifts for your wedding party: Gifts for your wedding party is a small way to show your appreciation to your guests for them taking time out of their lives to share in your special day. Remember, your wedding party usually ends up spending a lot of money to participate in your big day. Participants in your big day have to purchase dresses/rent tuxedos, pay for their travel to your wedding location (hotel, fuel, etc.).
5. Enjoy your day. Do not get caught up in all the little foxes that will try to spoil your big day. Remember that at the end of the day you two will begin your life as husband and wife, whether the wedding goes as planned or not.
To the Parents of the Bride & Groom:
1. The wedding day is not the day to showcase your disapproval of the person that your child decided to marry. I have been to weddings where some of the parents let it be shown in their every facial expression and action that they disapproved. By the wedding date, it is just too late – SORRY.
2. You and your child’s father/mother may not be together anymore but try to call a truce on that special day. Nothing worse than seeing the mother/father have a stare down with the new wife/husband. I know that has to be awkward, but think about your child. Be peaceful for those few hours and afterwards, you can go back to your regularly scheduled programming.
3. Respect your children’s wishes. I know that you have had dreams of your daughter/son getting married and you have your own thoughts as to how the wedding should go. Sure, share your input if it is requested, but you have to ultimately remember that it is their special day and not yours.
To the wedding guests:
1. Attire: Where do I start? A wedding is a rare occasion that allows you to bring out your best dressy attire (unless otherwise requested by the couple). Jeans are for BBQs. Wife Beaters are for videos. Jogging suits are for the jogging trail. (Yes, I’ve seen it all).
2. Tardiness: You received your invitation 2 months prior to the wedding. You knew that it started at 4:00. Why are you walking through the door at 4:20 holding up the wedding processional? Please arrive early.
3. Gifts: Wedding gifts are nice gestures to help the Bride & Groom get started in their marriage. Wait, why I am explaining that you should take a gift to the wedding? To me, to show up without a gift for the couple is just plain tacky. You come and eat up all the food, take carry out plates, and beg for a slice of cake to take home to Madea, but you brought not the first gift. Tacky, tacky, tacky.
4. Children: Your child may get a little upset during the wedding, hey, that’s what children do, but be respectful of the Bride & Groom and other guests and take your child out of the wedding venue. This is not to be disrespectful or anything but people really do want to see and hear the ceremony without that sort of disruption. Additionally, the couple would want a video where they could hear the vocalist, pastor, and even themselves repeating their vows.
Well, that’s my little spill on Wedding Do’s and Don’ts. Write me with some of your own ideas and I just may post them…Thanks for reading…
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