Penny Lover

     It’s amazing how a song can bring back memories from a distant place in your past.  At my place of employment there is always music playing.  For a time we had the listening pleasures of smooth jazz, but here recently we have been jamming to the golden oldies of the 80’s.  Artists such as Billy Ocean, Hall & Oates, and Michael McDonald can be heard as we go about our daily tasks. 

     It’s funny how I hear the same songs over and over again and how I often catch myself singing along to the melody – sometimes even bobbing my head and tapping my feet.  On one particular day, I heard the voice of Lionel Richie singing a song that I was really not paying any real attention to.  As the song continued, a memory from my past came to my mind and I had a moment where I was chuckling to myself. 

     What was the memory, you may ask.  Remember way back in the day if I guy liked you he would call and play one of his favorite slow jams very loudly in the background for you to hear.  I guess this was his way of saying how he felt about you without actually having to say how he felt (you get my drift?).  Ohhhh, the memories.  Well, when I was in the elementary school, only a few years ago, one of my classmates called me, as I guess we called ourselves courting.  We had to be in about the 4^th or 5^th grade (if memory serves me correctly).  And I am going to assume that my parents were not home, because I can’t imagine my dad ever wanting me to talk to boys on the phone, not even now.  Anyway, I remember him trying to talk all deep, while trying to make me laugh.  All of a sudden I hear Penny Lover by Lionel Richie blasting in the background.  (Side Note: What in the world is a Penny Lover?) I think the louder the music got, the deeper he tried to talk.  I can say that the courtship was short-lived, but the memory lasted forever… 

     I heard the song again today and it made me think about the days when a guy would genuinely show a girl that he was interested in her.  Be it corny or not, the song playing in the background was actually a nice gesture.  In my opinion, courting/dating was so much easier back then, because boy saw girl, boy asked for girls number, boy called girl, and the rest was history. 

     Nowadays it seems that a lot of good guys have been turned down and rejected so much that they are afraid to go after the woman that they really want.  This often leaves many women dazed and confused because we are taught that we are to be pursued, so if we know that a guy is interested we may hold back because he has not made the first move.  And even sometimes when he does build up the courage to say something, the woman may be so caught off guard that she doesn’t know how to respond.  And now we have two individuals who are really interested in one another but neither of them wants to risk having their feelings hurt.  

     Rejection is never fun, but how will you ever know what could happen if you never even tried.  In my opinion, there are way too many ways for a guy to tell a girl how he feels.  Although I prefer the direct approach, you know, hey girl, how you doing, my name is Charlie, last name Wilson…if that is too much for a guy, there are alternatives.  In these days of technological advancements, a guy could email, text, facebook, tweet, snail mail, or even send a smoke signal.  The whole point is, just tell her how you feel…you never know where the road may lead you….she just could be your Penny Lover…

     So Guys, build your courage up and go get that girl…

    

Penny Lover

Penny Lover

     It’s amazing how a song can bring back memories from a distant place in your past.  At my place of employment there is always music playing.  For a time we had the listening pleasures of smooth jazz, but here recently we have been jamming to the golden oldies of the 80’s.  Artists such as Billy Ocean, Hall & Oates, and Michael McDonald can be heard as we go about our daily tasks. 

     It’s funny how I hear the same songs over and over again and how I often catch myself singing along to the melody – sometimes even bobbing my head and tapping my feet.  On one particular day, I heard the voice of Lionel Richie singing a song that I was really not paying any real attention to.  As the song continued, a memory from my past came to my mind and I had a moment where I was chuckling to myself. 

     What was the memory, you may ask.  Remember way back in the day if I guy liked you he would call and play one of his favorite slow jams very loudly in the background for you to hear.  I guess this was his way of saying how he felt about you without actually having to say how he felt (you get my drift?).  Ohhhh, the memories.  Well, when I was in the elementary school, only a few years ago, one of my classmates called me, as I guess we called ourselves courting.  We had to be in about the 4^th or 5^th grade (if memory serves me correctly).  And I am going to assume that my parents were not home, because I can’t imagine my dad ever wanting me to talk to boys on the phone, not even now.  Anyway, I remember him trying to talk all deep, while trying to make me laugh.  All of a sudden I hear Penny Lover by Lionel Richie blasting in the background.  (Side Note: What in the world is a Penny Lover?) I think the louder the music got, the deeper he tried to talk.  I can say that the courtship was short-lived, but the memory lasted forever… 

     I heard the song again today and it made me think about the days when a guy would genuinely show a girl that he was interested in her.  Be it corny or not, the song playing in the background was actually a nice gesture.  In my opinion, courting/dating was so much easier back then, because boy saw girl, boy asked for girls number, boy called girl, and the rest was history. 

     Nowadays it seems that a lot of good guys have been turned down and rejected so much that they are afraid to go after the woman that they really want.  This often leaves many women dazed and confused because we are taught that we are to be pursued, so if we know that a guy is interested we may hold back because he has not made the first move.  And even sometimes when he does build up the courage to say something, the woman may be so caught off guard that she doesn’t know how to respond.  And now we have two individuals who are really interested in one another but neither of them wants to risk having their feelings hurt.  

     Rejection is never fun, but how will you ever know what could happen if you never even tried.  In my opinion, there are way too many ways for a guy to tell a girl how he feels.  Although I prefer the direct approach, you know, hey girl, how you doing, my name is Charlie, last name Wilson…if that is too much for a guy, there are alternatives.  In these days of technological advancements, a guy could email, text, facebook, tweet, snail mail, or even send a smoke signal.  The whole point is, just tell her how you feel…you never know where the road may lead you….she just could be your Penny Lover…

     So Guys, build your courage up and go get that girl…

    

Wedding Etiquette...According to LaTorya

Throughout my life I have been to numerous weddings as either the guest or as a vocalist, and the things that make me go hmmm…never ceases to amaze me.  From weddings starting late, couples having it out on the rehearsal night, to the food tasting like some three-year-old cooked it -I have seen it all. 

     Weddings are supposed to be a day of celebration – the day when two individuals vow to love one another until death, in front of God and their families and friends.  Instead, some weddings turn into laugh fests that make you wonder if the couple put any thought into how they wanted their big day to turn out.  I am not trying to be judgmental but I just think that people can do better.  I do not proclaim to be some wedding-planning expert, but I have been to enough weddings to give a few tips.  It goes a little something like this:

To the Bride & Groom:

1.    Cost:  The average cost of a wedding is $24, 066.00 (http://www.costofwedding.com).  If you cannot afford a big-elaborate wedding, people will really understand.  It is better to keep your wedding small or even go to the justice of the peace if a wedding is not in your budget.  That would be better than having a huge wedding where you run out of food, lack décor, and is just plain tacky.

2.    Location:  Choose your wedding/reception location wisely.  We understand that your great-granddad helped build your hometown church, but with 100 (exaggerated) people in your wedding party, it looks cramped and tacky and your guests are uncomfortable because they are stacked up on each other.

3.    Dresses: Choose dresses that are flattering for every body type.  Not every individual in your wedding party is a size 2.  Find dresses or mix/match pieces that will allow bridesmaids to select what flatters their shape.  No one wants to walk down the aisle in something that is not flattering.

4.    Rehearsals:  Rehearsals seem to bring out the worst in some people.  Everyone wants to direct and provide the bride and groom with their ideas.  Most of the wedding party is never on time for rehearsal, and the rehearsal dinners usually end with the wedding party wondering, what in the world was that. 

(a)  Select a time later in the evening that allows your wedding party time to make it into town if they are traveling, and allowing for others to get off work and make sure that their families are taken care of.  You could also choose to just have a rehearsal a couple of hours prior to the wedding. 

(b)  Introduce your wedding coordinator/director to your wedding party and explain that he/she will be providing instructions as to how rehearsal will flow and key information about the wedding day. 

(c)  If you are providing dinner for your wedding party, DO NOT just through something together and send them on their way.  Many people have come from out of town or have come straight from work to the rehearsal.  Feed them…enough said.

(d)  Gifts for your wedding party:  Gifts for your wedding party is a small way to show your appreciation to your guests for them taking time out of their lives to share in your special day.  Remember, your wedding party usually ends up spending a lot of money to participate in your big day.  Participants in your big day have to purchase dresses/rent tuxedos, pay for their travel to your wedding location (hotel, fuel, etc.).

5.     Enjoy your day.  Do not get caught up in all the little foxes that will try to spoil your big day.  Remember that at the end of the day you two will begin your life as husband and wife, whether the wedding goes as planned or not.

To the Parents of the Bride & Groom:

1.     The wedding day is not the day to showcase your disapproval of the person that your child decided to marry.  I have been to weddings where some of the parents let it be shown in their every facial expression and action that they disapproved.  By the wedding date, it is just too late – SORRY.

2.    You and your child’s father/mother may not be together anymore but try to call a truce on that special day.  Nothing worse than seeing the mother/father have a stare down with the new wife/husband.  I know that has to be awkward, but think about your child.  Be peaceful for those few hours and afterwards, you can go back to your regularly scheduled programming.

3.    Respect your children’s wishes.  I know that you have had dreams of your daughter/son getting married and you have your own thoughts as to how the wedding should go.  Sure, share your input if it is requested, but you have to ultimately remember that it is their special day and not yours.

To the wedding guests: 

1.     Attire:  Where do I start?  A wedding is a rare occasion that allows you to bring out your best dressy attire (unless otherwise requested by the couple).  Jeans are for BBQs.  Wife Beaters are for videos.  Jogging suits are for the jogging trail.  (Yes, I’ve seen it all). 

2.    Tardiness:  You received your invitation 2 months prior to the wedding.  You knew that it started at 4:00.  Why are you walking through the door at 4:20 holding up the wedding processional?  Please arrive early.

3.    Gifts:  Wedding gifts are nice gestures to help the Bride & Groom get started in their marriage.  Wait, why I am explaining that you should take a gift to the wedding?  To me, to show up without a gift for the couple is just plain tacky.  You come and eat up all the food, take carry out plates, and beg for a slice of cake to take home to Madea, but you brought not the first gift.  Tacky, tacky, tacky.

4.    Children:  Your child may get a little upset during the wedding, hey, that’s what children do, but be respectful of the Bride & Groom and other guests and take your child out of the wedding venue.  This is not to be disrespectful or anything but people really do want to see and hear the ceremony without that sort of disruption.  Additionally, the couple would want a video where they could hear the vocalist, pastor, and even themselves repeating their vows.

     Well, that’s my little spill on Wedding Do’s and Don’ts.  Write me with some of your own ideas and I just may post them…Thanks for reading…

D.E.A.T.H. is NOT an OPTION

     For some reason when some people go through rough spots in their lives they see death as the only way of escape.  It is not uncommon in these times to turn on the local or national news and hear tragic stories of people committing suicide for one reason or another.  Their self-inflicted demise leaves many wondering what could have been going on that prompted them to take their life.  These questions are not posed to judge the individual, but are done so to try to understand how someone could harm themselves in that manner.
     We all are human.  We will go through our own personal struggles.  Your struggle may be that you have been out of work for a long time and you cannot see how things are going to get better.  Someone else may be facing an eviction and you see no way to house your family.  Someone may be battling a severe illness and is in constant pain and turmoil.  Maybe you are even going through bouts of depression and loneliness.  As the title of a book by the late Bebe Moore Campbell states, Your Blues Ain't Like Mine.  Our struggles may be different, but there is One thing that we have in common - A God who cares about what we are going through. 

     Bad things can happen to even the best of us.  No one is exempt from trials and tribulations.  What we have to realize, however, is that what we go through is not some form of punishment from God.  We have to remember that when walking this walk with Christ, we will suffer as He did.  Peter states in I Peter 4:(12-13):  Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.  But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.  Your suffering is only for a little while.  Joy really does come in the morning.  ...After you have suffered a little while, (God) will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast (I Peter 5:10). 

     As we go through our storms, our attitudes and faith is what God is watching.  It is hard to smile when you are in pain, but continue to believe Him.  It's hard to smile when the eviction notice is on the door, but continue to believe Him.  It's hard to smile when you can't pay all of your bills, but continue to believe Him.  God is faithful and He will not let us down.  It is our faith that pleases Him. Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1).  Do you believe that He can bring you out of whatever situation you may be going through right now?  Do you trust Him to do what you cannot?  God will never leave you, nor will He forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).  God has all the power and ability to bring you out of your storm, therefore, D.E.A.T.H is NOT an OPTION.  When He says it is time, then, and only then, is when you should leave this earth.  

     I know it is hard to hear this sometimes, but God will not put more on us than we can bear (I Corinthians 10:13).  If you find yourself feeling that there is no other way out, contact a trusted friend, loved one, or even seek some professional help.  Only pride will keep you from asking for help.  God loves you.  God really does care what happens to you.  Reading His word will strengthen you and keep you...Be Blessed!

Not BET's Sunday Best...

I stated on a facebook posting this week that when you are trying to reach your goals you may hear a thousand No's before you get that one Yes.  I have heard the word NO so much in my life that I am beginning to think that it is a part of  my legal name.

Just this past weekend I auditioned for BET's Sunday Best - a talent contest seeking undiscovered gospel artists.  It was a long and tedious process and long story short, I did not even make it past the first round of auditions.  I have to be honest and say that I was not extremely disappointed.  Sure, it would have been cool to have been a finalist but that was not what God had planned.  I give props where props are due and I have to say that there were so many talented singers in my group of 30 (yes, 30 people auditioned in one room with 30 seconds each to sing). 

Although this avenue did not work out for me that does not mean that I will throw in the towel and not pursue other avenues.  I may not have been their idea of Sunday Best, but I am God's idea of His Best!  I know my purpose in life and I will continue to give my all to reaching my goals...

If you are in pursuit of your dreams and doors keep getting slammed shut in your face, don't take that as a sign that you should give up, take it as a sign that you are on the right path.  If you remain steadfast and continue in hot pursuit, eventually the windows of Heaven will begin to open up and pour down so many blessings that you will not have room enough in which to receive it all - that means you have to pass on the blessings to others.  Keep fighting past all the challenges and one day you will get the YES that you have been searching for... Be Blessed...

Signed,
Future Gospel Recording Artist in the Making

My "Husband" Wish List Has Changed

     Many singles that I know have a list of requirements that they want their potential mate to fill.  I, myself, have one of those lists.  It was super long until I read an article this morning that has shortened the list to the core.  The author of the article was stating how when she was younger she had this long laundry list of things that she wanted in a mate but that the more she grew and matured, the more she had to re-evaluate her list.  I thought about this and came to the conclusion that the article really made a lot of sense because the girl I was when I made my list about 8 years ago has blossomed into this mature woman and I have found that my needs now are not the same as before. 

     Like many women, I had the stereotypical list of requirements.  I wanted tall, dark, and handsome.  Rich was definitely on the list, and so forth and so on.  It would be factual if I say that I had at least 40 requirements that my potential mate had to fulfill.  But I took some time this morning to re-evaluate myself and that l-i-s-t.  When I finished the list, it only had about 5 requirements.  Well look at me!! 

     Because I believe that God is a matchmaker and can bring the right person into my life, I am trusting Him to bring me someone that has a personal relationship with Him.  If he has a personal relationship with God and respects HIM, then I can trust that he will respect and love me as my FATHER does.  What more can a girl ask for.  If he is Spirit led then all the rest will fall into place... That's my new list!  Kudos to me...I love you God!!!

Application

I just completed an online application that took over an hour to complete...BRRRR.  My brain is fried...

In Mourning...

I am having a hard time getting myself together.  My worse thoughts have come to pass.  I have dropped my Blackberry a few times during the course of its life, HARD.  This time, however, it did not survive the fall...We have been together for almost a year now and it made my life so much easier.  Oh, how I remember the days  of texting, facebooking, chatting.  The memories.  I don't know what the grieving period is, but this is not good.  What happens when someone calls me today?  Where will my text messages go?  Now I have to actually plug in the laptop to get on facebook.  OK, give me a minute...sniff...sniff...sniff....  Oh, My God!  I just realized that I don't have access to my contacts because I never inserted the disc thingy that came with the phone...Oh, this is going to be worse than I thought...Someone, please help me!!  I am lost in translation....OUTTA Here!!!

W-2

Well, my employer finally decided to send out the W-2s.  I used to be like everyone else and depend on a refund so that I could ball out of control.  Wisdom has kicked in and has said girl, use your money wisely to get ahead in life...Nothing wrong with using the money to make purchases of things that you need.  Just don't blow it all on nonsense...smoochesssss....

Yeaaaah, Macy's Card is Here!

I am too excited.  I love to shop at Macy's!  So what, right?  I have been participating in an online survey for a couple of years and had never redeemed any of my points for prizes until they started offering gift cards.  Usually when you sign up for surveys they are bogus and you never see anything from them, hence my excitement to actually receive my Macy's gift card today!!! Macys.com, here I come!!

My Life in the SonShine!

Just thought that I would create this particular blog so that I can have a way to write about my daily life.  Sometimes it's just great to get my thoughts out or what I am experiencing at any given time.  I don't know what's going to come out and have no format other than to just write...stay tuned...kisses and blessingsssssss...Torya